


I'm Right Beside You

by Babettefanfic51



Category: DCU, The Flash (Comics), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Break Up, F/M, First Time, Future In Doubt, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, Near Future, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-01 09:12:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4014079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babettefanfic51/pseuds/Babettefanfic51
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story picks up a month after the Season One finale.  There will be angst, tears, heartache, mourning, maybe even a date or two.  WestAllen in the weeks and months ahead will have a lot to work through, hoping to build an honest and long-lasting relationship.  It will be difficult for them, but all of it will be worth it.  My Muse definitely agrees and I hope you do too.   I hope you enjoy it.  Read on!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter is full of angst, comfort, mourning, tears, and maybe a date or two. There will be time jumps. I hope you like it. There may be more! Read on.

  
[ ](http://s190.photobucket.com/user/babettew54/media/babettew54054/9baa284d-bee6-4d48-ab24-723ab263bbcb_zpsyn9ppmka.jpg.html)   


  


_Chapter 1: I Need You_

_The rooftop at Jitters_ :

Central City was still in mourning. A lot of lives were lost that day either dead or still missing. It's now been nearly a month since Eddie's death, and to make matters worse, his body had not been found.

It was late evening and Iris had just hung up with her Father. Of course, he was worried about her and she couldn't blame him. She felt adrift, lost without focus. A few weeks ago, she helped Eddie's parents at the apartment collecting his things and breaking his lease.

She in turn, had made the decision to move back home. But her Father was always hovering over her and constantly asking how she was doing. She desperately needed time alone to sort through everything, including Eddie's memorial service, coming to grips with his sacrifice, and lastly, Barry and their feelings. He wasn't far from her mind, even now.

"Iris?" It was him. "I thought I would find you here. Are you Okay?" He asked softly, coming to stand beside her.

She wiped at her eyes with a tissue. "No, I'm not," she replied not looking at him. Seeing him again brought it all back so she tried to avoid him as much as she could. It hurt to see him. "Barry, I thought I made myself clear, I can't see you, not right now."

"You shouldn't be alone." He watched her for a minute. "It's difficult to catch up with you, either you're at the office or on assignment or," he said and paused for a moment. "I just wanted to talk; that's all," he continued, but he was interrupted.

"I had to keep busy; it's all I have now," she sadly stated. He was silent unsure what to say. She shook her head to clear it, but she had to know. "Why didn't you tell me about the clipping from the future?" She glanced at him trying to understand why he hadn't told her.

He thought she had come to terms with all of that. He supposed she was still in pain about all of it. "Iris, I didn't want to put that kind of pressure on you. You had to make up your own mind, choose your own future and," he hesitated.

"You mean, you and me and our 'marriage'?" She finished for him.

"Yes; you and me."

"You believed it; didn't you?" She turned to face him after that question.

He hesitated. "Yes, I did. I always believed it," he finally admitted it.

She should have been surprised, but she wasn't, not at all; it was time to be honest. He was right; she hadn't been honest about her feelings. Being here with him felt as natural as breathing, like nothing else was more important. It was time to face it, all of it. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to the ledge. "I guess a part of me knew it too."

"Iris?" He began hopefully.

"He wanted to marry me," she admitted tearfully.

"I know," he said then he too turned back to the ledge.

A few minutes of quiet thoughtfulness followed that admission.

She turned to face him needing to know all of it. "Why doesn't it surprise me that you knew about Eddie's proposal?" He was silent. "Look, Barry, no more lies, Ok? I need you to tell me everything you know, why Eobard hated you and why he did this to us, to Eddie and me?"

"He never said why, just that he hated me and that included everyone I cared about. He killed my Mother, threatened you, Joe, Eddie, and he actually killed Cisco in another timeline," he sadly replied.

She frowned, not understanding. "Another timeline; what are you talking about?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. 'We should sit down." She was still. "Please, Iris; I'll tell you everything I know."

Then he told her the truth beginning with the night of the double date, including the kiss, her confession of love, sort of, and everything since then. He actually told her about Future-Barry and what happened at the house that night.

Iris was stunned, but one thing stood out. "I can't believe this, but it's true, isn't it? You wouldn't lie to me about that, would you, I mean; we actually kissed?" She couldn't believe it.

"Yes, all of it is true; we kissed, then I revealed that I was the Flash, and then everything was reversed, turned back. Believe me, it was the last thing I wanted." He paused as he stared into her eyes. "I wanted us to be together, so badly, but," he confessed tearfully.

"Oh, Bear," she murmured, about to cry. She shook her head. "I remember when you came to see me at Jitters and you wanted to," she couldn't finish.

"Yes, I didn't realize it at the time but everything that was revealed was gone. I was devastated that you didn't remember any of it because it was all gone."

"So you and 'the team' came up with this ridiculous lie about you having some sort of mental instability or some such nonsense," she said, feeling hurt.

"Yes, and it hurt so much to lie to you. Please believe me."

"Honestly, I don't know what's true or what isn't true." She stood up and began to walk trying to piece it all together in her mind. She rubbed her temples, she felt dizzy then she fainted.

"Iris!?" He ran to her before she could fall. He caught her quickly, picked her up and streaked home to the house. Minutes later, she woke up on the sofa.

She slowly sat up and Barry was there beside her. "What happened?"

"You fainted; don't you remember?" He asked, becoming suspicious. He helped her get settled by straightening the pillows behind her.

"Yes, I remember fainting, but," she replied.

He frowned then, "Iris, are you pregnant?"

Shocked, she stared at him. "No, Barry, I'm not pregnant." He frowned again. "It's true, but if you must know, I had my menses last week."

"I'm sorry, Iris, it's not my business, but," he hesitated.

"I know; I know; you're just concerned about me, but you don't need to be. I'm alright."

Feeling bold, he took her hand; she didn't pull away. "You know I'll always care about you."

She opened her mouth to say something, but he stopped her with his next words. "You don't have to say anything." He tried to smile as he watched her eyes light up. "Now, I want you take better care of yourself." At her frown, he continued, "I spoke to Joe and you haven't been eating like you should, three meals and all that. In fact, you look a little thin." His lips quirked up at her look of surprise or indignation, he wasn't sure. He stood up. "You rest while I fix something for you." But before he could leave, she took his hand.

She couldn't turn that down. "Thank you, Barry."

He tried to smile. "Sure, anytime." A little while later, dinner was ready, so he checked up on her. "Iris, dinner is," he stopped dead because she was asleep. Feeling so many things, he decided not to wake her but to let her rest. She seemed to be dreaming because her eyelids were moving. He then covered her with a sofa throw, but he couldn't help himself. He leaned down and stroked her hair away from cheek, and kissed it softly. As if seeking comfort, she leaned forward just a little. He almost lost it, so he stood up and headed back to the kitchen. He was covering the food up when he heard her scream.

"Eddie!" Iris screamed and sat up terrified by the dream, then reality sunk in. "He's really gone." She lay back down and then the tears came.

Barry felt awful. He sat down and pulled her into his arms. She didn't resist. The tears began in earnest then. "It's alright; it's alright."

"I just felt so helpless. I wanted to save him somehow." She managed to say.

"I'm so sorry," Barry murmured unsure what to say to comfort her. Tears blinded thinking of his Mother. "I'm here; it's going to be Okay."

Iris pulled away after a minute or two. He came prepared. He handed her a tissue, but then he wiped at his eyes. "Oh Bear; I'm sorry about your Mom."

"How did you know I was thinking about her?"

"I know you, remember, and after what you told me," she began.

"Yeah, there was no choice to make," he said resigned to living the rest of his life without her. Taking a deep breath, he changed the subject. "Are you still hungry, dinner is ready?"

She shook her head. "I can't eat."

"Iris, you have to eat. Come on, it's spaghetti, your favorite? " He stood up, his hand out to her to take it.

"Alright, you win; I'll eat," she replied, took his hand then they entered the dining room.

~o~o~

After a quick dinner of spaghetti, garlic bread, and a few glasses of wine, they managed not to talk about Eddie or his Mom. They talked about her work, his job, her new mentor, and about the clean-up of the city after that day.

About an hour later, at the door, a few moments of awkward silence then, it was in her eyes, she needed it and so did he.

"Just, come here," he whispered and pulled her into a hug.

She welcomed his embrace like a friend comforting a friend, just like always. They stood that way for several long minutes. Barry closed his eyes enjoying this more than he should. Then he breathed her in then he was the first to pull away. "Good night, Iris."

"Good night, Barry." She reluctantly let him go.

~o~o~

_Several months later, at the house:_

It was now Christmas time, and with Barry and Joe's help, Iris was slowly getting into the spirit of the holiday. Christmas Eve arrived and Joe could tell that they were both remembering that night. How could that not? After a lovely dinner, he left them alone.

As soon as her Father left, Iris's heart was pounding with dread a little afraid Barry would bring up that night. He didn't at first, and then it happened. Barry couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I see you're wearing the ring." He stated thrilled to see it again. He was standing by the tree thinking about the past. Iris was sitting on the sofa.

She had been wearing it most of the time now. It had a soothing effect on her. "Yes, I am," she replied, touching it softly. At his look, she whispered. "It's Ok if you want to talk about it."

He was a bit stunned. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. It's not like we can avoid not talking about the past. It is ours and ours alone," she replied and tried to smile.

"Yes, no one can take that away," he said smiled in return.

Then her eyes filled with tears at those words.

He sat down beside her. "What is it? What did I say?"

"You almost did, Barry, gave it all up." At his apparent look of regret, she continued. "I understand why you went back; I do. I just wanted you to be happy and not feel so sad about your parents and what happened to them; that's all." She was almost in tears.

He wanted to pull her close but refrained. Instead, he took her hand. "I'm just glad that I didn't make that mistake. Future-Barry stopped me."

"Yes, you told me." She paused as she thought about him. "I wish I could thank him."

He squeezed her hand. "You may get that chance one day."

They both smiled. So they continued to talk long into the night. Barry left that evening finally believing that they had turned a corner hoping all of the pain and heartache was finally behind them.

~o~o~

_New Year's Eve, Central City Hotel:_

They had become close again over the past few months. He asked her out and she accepted. Technically, it would be their first date, but they didn't care about those things.

They decided to meet at the rooftop restaurant with a lovely view of the city. Then Barry walked in and the ladies, even with their dates, glanced at him. He seemed somehow different, more mature sure of himself as if a weight had been lifted. He looked very handsome dressed in a black evening suit and tie.

Iris was wearing a knee-length black dress, criss-crossed in the back, with black high heels with a matching evening coat. Barry stared at her in awe. She literally took his breath away. He'd been a very patient man over the past six months, but she was so worth the wait.

Watching him come closer, he only had eyes for her. It was as if he knew what she was thinking. She ducked her head feeling a little embarrassed. But she had to admit that she missed seeing him in the Flash suit. She so missed their meetings, especially on the rooftop. They don't meet as often as she would like. He was always rescuing people, stopping meta-humans, but she managed to come to STAR Labs, but most times he wasn't there mainly on assignment.

It felt good to talk and laugh about silly things. It had been a long time. Talking about their clandestine meetings in the past and the possible future brought on more speak of the past. Barry couldn't be happier that they were getting along, talking and confiding in each other about their lives, just like old times, before the coma.

"Can I ask you something?" Iris asked. "If I hadn't asked you, were you ever going to tell me about the other timeline and what happened between us?"

"Iris, I can't answer that," he replied being evasive. He took a sip of champagne.

"Barry, don't do that, keep things from me, mainly when we're talking about our feelings. It's important if we want this to work."

She was right. "There truly was no point. You and I didn't get together. We kissed; yes, but that was all there was to it and besides you were still with Eddie." He sounded upset.

Iris was surprised. "How can you say that? There was always more between us, not just kisses."

"Then you admit it; you do care." Even though she had rejected him, he had to know.

"Barry," she started, "You said it yourself; it's always been there, but," she hesitated.

"But other things got in the way," he finished for her.

"Yeah, other things," she admitted thinking about Eddie. She stood up and walked over to the balcony door and looked out over the city. "Will it always be this way?"

He knew what she was referring to. He followed her and stood close behind her. "No, it won't."

"Are you sure because, the article; it changed everything?" She glanced at him to see his reaction.

He shook her head. "No, not because of that, but," he hesitated.

"But what?" She turned to face him.

Feeling bold again, he came closer and took her hand. "Because of this," he whispered. He was going to kiss her. Suddenly terrified that they were actually going to kiss, she turned and opened the door and ran outside. It wasn't that cold, but it was definitely chilly.

"Iris!?" He caught her quickly, took off his coat placed it around her shoulders. He held her at arm's length. "Why did you run away?" He knew the answer; she was still afraid of her feelings.

"We can't do this. We're friends and," she couldn't finish.

"We're more than friends. It's always been that way. We can't change it. Believe it because it's true for both of us."

Then his hand reached out and touched her face. She closed her eyes. He was so warm and comforting, no, it was more than that.

"We can't fight it, Iris, not anymore," he whispered softly. He leaned down and his lips touched hers briefly and then it happened, she responded to him. He kissed her more deeply, slanting his lips across hers. His mouth opened bringing forth sighs and moans. He clutched her to him tightly. His kisses became even more forceful but then he stopped suddenly and waited for her to open her eyes.

"Iris, I didn't mean to," he started.

She grinned. "What did you mean?"

He also grinned. "It's just," he didn't know what to say.

"You don't have to say anything," she whispered then she pulled his head down and kissed him.

_The end!?_

~o~o~

Song inspiration: _What About Now?_ , Chris Daughtry.

A/N: Wow, I had to give them this. My Muse couldn't resist hitting on all the drama, angst, lies, and pain that permeated Season One. Correct me if I'm wrong that Iris doesn't know about the original timeline. But I thought it would be an interesting topic of discussion. Ok then, there may be more to this; although I can't say when right now. I hope there's more, but we'll see what my Muse has to say within the next few months. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a kudo/comment when you get a moment. Thank you for reading! :D


	2. Worth Fighting For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, here's another chapter. I'm not really sure how much more there will be, but I don't really want to rush them into anything, so buckle down for more angst and heartache. Sorry about that, but I think after this chapter, we can settle down and let them be themselves and move on. Did you hear that Muse? Laney never listens to me. I hope you enjoy it. Keep reading!

_Chapter 2: Worth Fighting For_

_Still on the hotel balcony_ :

They were now kissing passionately. Barry was beginning to think that Iris was ready to take that next step, but he wasn't sure he was prepared. After a few more minutes, it was time to stop this. He pulled away. "We should stop."

Iris was very turned on. "Are you sure?" She was flirting with him.

"Yes, I'm sure, and besides, it's almost midnight." He smiled at her knowing smirk. Pulling his coat around her shoulders to keep her warm, he then pointed to the night sky.

The countdown had begun: "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, and one!" Then the fireworks began in earnest.

"Happy New Year, Iris," he whispered and leaned down to kiss her.

She shook her head at him. "Happy New Year, Barry." She smiled at him. Then they kissed to ring in the New Year. It really was sweet not like their earlier kisses. Then Iris began to really enjoy his kisses again. He really was a good kisser.

After a minute, he was the first to pull away again. "Ok, one more glass of champagne and then I'll take you home."

Iris sighed and headed back inside. Once at their table, he poured the champagne. Iris watched him for a minute and something was definitely on his mind.

"Alright, Barry, tell me what's bothering you. I thought … I thought you wanted me," Iris said, feeling hurt.

"You know I do. It's just," he hesitated.

"Is this because of Eddie and the way he died?" Iris wasn't sure what was going on.

"No, it's not because of Eddie," he replied but he couldn't look at her.

"Then what is it?" Iris was beginning to worry.

"Can we talk about this in private, not here?" He asked being evasive.

Now she truly was concerned about their relationship. "I'm ready to go," Iris said still feeling hurt.

Once acquiring her coat, they left the restaurant. But no sooner than they were in her car, that he got a call from Cisco. "I'm sorry, Iris, but," he said then got out of the car.

"You're leaving, but we need to talk?" Iris asked.

"I'll call you," Barry said and then he was gone.

"But," she whispered to an empty space. "What in the world is going on with him?"

_~o~o~_

_A little while later at the West house:_

Iris walked into the living room and her Father was asleep on the sofa. She didn't want to wake him, so she let him sleep. She turned off the television and headed upstairs.

After hanging up her coat, she checked her cell phone for messages. There were none. Sighing to herself, she headed to the bathroom, changed, washed her face and brushed out her hair. Feeling drained, but not too tired to wait for his call, she climbed into the bed and opened a book. Glancing at the clock, it was nearly two a.m. After reading a few chapters, her eyes were getting sleepy, but she refused to call him.

She was awakened about an hour later by her cell phone. She should have turned it off. It would serve him right. "Hello," she whispered half asleep.

"Iris, were you asleep?" Barry asked.

"Yes, I was." She paused and waited. "Where are you?"

"I'm at STAR Labs. I won't be able to come by." He paused when she hadn't said anything. "I'm sorry Iris, but I'll explain everything tomorrow. Can we meet for lunch say around 1:00?"

She didn't know what to think. "I thought you wanted to talk in private."

"Yeah, I do, Ummm, can we meet on the rooftop?"

"Alright, I'll be there at 1:00. Goodnight, Barry.

 _"_ Goodnight, Iris."

She hung up, but then her Father poked his head in. "I thought you were asleep."

Iris was about to cry. Something is very wrong. Although he had denied it, she would bet her life it was about that stupid article.

"Iris?" Joe asked and came inside. She was upset. "What's wrong? Did something happen on your date with Barry?"

"No, nothing is wrong; I'm just tired. I'll see you in the morning. Good night, Dad."

He frowned but decided not to push. "Good night, honey."

Iris lay back down unable to sleep. Her mind was running in circles wondering what it could be that had Barry so unable to talk to her. _Maybe he doesn't love me anymore. He said he believed the article, so that's not it. Then what is it? Is there someone else? I pushed him away so many times. Am I too late? Did I wait too long? No, that can't be it. He's been right beside me for months now, always stopping by, talking and he was always available. I'm going crazy. Just go to sleep. He'll tell me tomorrow._

The next morning with barely any sleep, she jumped in the shower hoping to wake up. It worked for a while. She smelled the coffee and headed downstairs.

"Good morning, Dad," she said not looking at him. She poured the coffee. "Thanks, Dad, for the coffee, but I gotta go," she said. Before he had a chance to ask her about last night, she grabbed her bag and headed out.

Joe shook his head at her. "Alright, I'll see you tonight." Being a nosy father, he pulled out his cell phone and called Barry.

"Joe?" Barry asked. "What time is it? What's wrong? Is Iris alright?"

Joe shook his head. "No, nothing is wrong; she's okay but either you two had a fight or she's avoiding talking about you. So, what happened last night?"

He groaned to himself. "Nothing happened, but we did have a misunderstanding. We're meeting for lunch to talk."

"Alright, I won't interfere, but everything has been going so well with you two. I don't want anything to mess it up."

"Joe, now, we're adults, not children. You can't send us to our room if we make a mistake." He was getting touchy.

"I'm sorry, but I just wanted to help. I'll talk to you later. Bye, Barry."

"Bye Joe," Barry said and hung up. He was awake now, so he jumped in the shower. His head under the spray, he tried to calm down. Then he thought about last night.

Having Iris in his arms felt like a dream come true. He dreamed about her so many times and there she was completely open to him ready and willing. But inside he was afraid, so afraid of hurting her. If they were to make love, he didn't know if he could control his body, his speed, and his vibrations. Groaning out loud this time, he knew the real reason. He'd never made love to anyone ... ever. She would be his first. Oh, he'd had a few times before to make love, but they weren't the woman he wanted. Iris was that woman, and now that she was available, he didn't think he could go through with it.

Feeling defeated and unsure of his entire life, he headed to the station. It was light duty and barely anyone was there. He did have a few cases with paperwork to finish, so he did that to keep busy and to take his mind off of Iris and what he had to tell her. Not being able to make love to the woman of his dreams had never even occurred to him, but since the accident that changed his life, he began to wonder if he would forever be a virgin. No, he refused to believe that. There must be a way for them to work this out. But he had no idea what that could be.

He glanced at his watch and it was 1:15 pm. Cursing to himself, he streaked over to the rooftop and Iris was there sitting on a bench. Her hair blew and it was him and he was in his costume. She slowly stood up, happy to see him dressed this way. She had missed this so much.

"Barry?" Her vision blurred. "You're late," she said and smiled through her tears.

"Iris," he whispered and came closer, but not too close, like before then he steeled his emotions against her.

Iris frowned and tried not to cry. He was distancing; she could feel it. "Barry, what's wrong? It's like when we first met right over there. You remember, don't you?" She pointed to the spot.

He took a deep breath. "You should sit down."

She was terrified, but she sat down. Her back was stiff, but inside she was quivering and shaking. When he just stood there staring at her, she didn't know what to think. "You can tell me anything. Go on."

He paced for a minute. "Iris, we can't … we can't see each other anymore."

She blinked unsure if she had heard him wrong. "What did you just say?"

"I can't be with you, not the way you want me to. Do you understand what I mean?" He asked hoping he wouldn't have to explain. But then at her look of understanding, his heart just broke.

Stunned by his words, she stood up, reached out to him, but he backed up again. "Barry, you're not making any sense. Of course, we can. We can do anything; we were meant to be. Please don't do this." She actually believed the article; she truly did.

Oh, God, he thought. She finally accepts it and now he would have to break up with her. "No, Iris, we can't. I'm sorry." His vision blurred. "I have to go."

"Don't go, please don't go." She was begging now, but he was gone. Unsure what to do, she looked around, but her legs wouldn't hold her. She fell back onto the bench and cried and cried. The tears came splashing down her face like a flood.

Barry realized he was running far too fast, but his hearing was far too good. The tears were streaming down his face. Unsure if they would ever stop, he streaked and streaked so far away that he suddenly stopped and realized he didn't know where he was and he didn't care. He slid to the ground and cried and cried as if there wouldn't be another day that he could live, not without her.

_~o~o~_

_A week later at STAR Labs:_

Caitlin and Cisco were at their wits end with Barry. He was listless, uninterested in rescues, making mistakes, like the first week he was in the suit. Finally, they sat him down and asked him what was going on with him.

"I can't talk about it," he finally told them.

"But Barry, if your heart is not in being the Flash, we can't help you. If you make any more mistakes, the city could turn against you. We've worked really hard to get the public's trust back after what happened last year with the accelerator." Caitlin started hoping he would snap out of it.

Then Cisco put in his thoughts. "Does this have to do with Iris? We haven't seen her around here for weeks."

He couldn't speak of it, and then he stood up and walked away.

"What in the world?" Caitlin asked stunned by his behavior.

"It's Iris," Cisco stated. They glanced at each other. "Should we call her?"

"We can't interfere, but if he continues like this, we may not have a choice," Caitlin said and frowned unsure what to do to get Barry back.

_~o~o~_

_Meanwhile, at Central City News:_

Iris was nervously pacing unsure what to do about Barry. She was so worried about him. The newsfeeds for the past week revealed the Flash arriving at crime scenes in the nick of time, but, fortunately, no one had been hurt. There must be someone who could help them with this issue; a close friend maybe; someone they could trust.

Dr. Martin Stein came into her head. She called Caitlin and asked her to reach out to Ronnie. After their wedding, they went away for several weeks, but she hadn't been at STAR Labs that often, but she assumed that their marriage was doing fine.

"Caitlin, are you there?" Iris asked.

"Oh, Hi Iris, Cisco and I were just about to call you," she replied.

"Oh, I see, so I guess Barry spoke to you about us," she asked.

"No, he's been extremely closed mouth about his life, well except as the Flash," Caitlin replied.

"Well, I need a favor. I need to get in touch with Dr. Stein."

"Sure, I can call Ronnie for you," she said. But, of course, she had to ask. "Is everything alright between you two?"

"Yes, we'll work this out. Thanks, Caitlin."

"Alright, I'll call you later."

"Bye, Caitlin."

"What was that all about?" Cisco asked.

"I have no idea. She wants to speak to Dr. Stein, but she didn't say why."

"Oh dear, I think I may know what's going on," Cisco thoughtfully said.

"What is it?"

He told her what he thought it could be.

"Oh, I see, well, that could be a problem. I can understand why Barry is so upset. If he loses control, he could seriously hurt her."

"Well, I understand why he felt he couldn't talk to us about this issue. It's not anything you can talk about in … Ummm … mixed company."

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "I am a doctor or did he forget." Then she pulled out her cell phone and called Ronnie.

_~o~o~_

_A few days later:_

Iris sent a message to the Flash, hoping he would meet her on the rooftop. They hadn't spoken since that night. She turned when the wind blew her hair. "Barry?"

"Hello, Iris." He sounded so detached.

She came closer. "Barry, we can't go on like this. We have to do something." He didn't say anything. "You can't give up, so, I called someone."

He frowned. "Who did you call?"

"I called a friend, someone you know and," she began, but she was interrupted.

"It's me, Barry," Dr. Stein said. He stepped out from behind a high hedge. "Don't run off. I think I can help you."

Barry was stunned to see Dr. Stein. "I don't know about this. This is a private issue and I'm not ready to talk about it," he said getting upset.

Iris came closer. He backed up again. "Barry, you need to listen to him. He's here to help us.  Surely, we can make this work." She paused becoming emotional. "I miss you and I need you. Please do this for me."

He sighed. "Alright, I'll listen."

_TBC!_

~o~o~

Song inspiration: _Bittersweet_ , Sara Bareilles.

A/N: I'll end this here, but I wanted everyone to think about what they're going through. It's a serious issue, and I wanted to be sympathetic when I wrote this. I'm so sorry to break them up over this, but I've always assumed that Barry was a virgin but I may be wrong. The only person they actually mentioned was 'Becky Coo…per.' *smiles* Anyway, they will work this out, not sure how at this point, but they will. The next chapter will arrive in a week. I hope you're still with me. Thank you for reading! Reviews/kudos is love! :D


	3. How I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, here's chapter three. As far as Barry and Iris coming to terms with this issue, they're working towards an answer, but it won't be easy. That doesn't mean more angst and drama, but these two always bring it out for some reason. They will reach that goal just give them a minute. I hope you enjoy it. THE STORY IS NOW RATED MATURE. Read on!

_Chapter 3: How I Love You_

_Still on the rooftop at Jitters:_

Iris was so relieved to hear him say that. "Good, well, I'll leave you two to talk in private."

"You don't have to go." Barry wanted her to stay.

"Yes, Barry, I do. You stay here and I'll see you both downstairs for coffee." Then she was gone.

"Why don't we sit down?" Dr. Stein suggested as he took a seat.

Barry was still. "Dr. Stein, I can't imagine what you could possibly say that would change my mind. There truly is nothing else I can do." He paused. "I can't hurt her." He shook his head. "Just the idea of it makes me a little crazy."

He understood. "Please call me Martin."

He sighed. "Alright, Martin, but I've been out of control before and, it changed everything between us."

"You mean the timeline change?"

"Yes, but suppose it happened while we were, you know, making love? I can't imagine it."

Martin chuckled. "No, Barry, that's not how it works. You haven't given me one good reason why you can't make love." He watched him for a moment. "And besides, you can't live without her." He raised an eyebrow. "Am I right?" He was silent. "Please sit down."

Barry sat down and removed his hood. Sighing he said, "I don't know what else to do."

"One thing is true; you can't go on like this, and neither can Iris. I've seen the news reports. You think about her a lot don't you?"

"You could say that," he replied knowing that was an understatement.

"You can talk to me. I'll listen."

He took a deep breath. "I thought I could go through with it. I really did, but then I thought what if I hurt her. I couldn't bear that."

"But, Barry, you don't know if that's going to happen."

"I know that, but," he hesitated.

"Listen, Barry, I know that all your feelings and emotions are connected to her, kind of like me and Ronnie."

"Oh, really?" Barry asked surprised.

"Yeah, but not those emotions," he replied.

"Oh, I see," Barry said and tried to smile.

"There's no way you could hurt her," Martin said, sure of it.

"Are you sure, because," he said beginning to believe it.

"You just need to concentrate. When you run fast, the speed that you push so hard to attain, is not controlled by your body, it's controlled by you, and by this and what you're feeling." He touched his temple and his chest, meaning brain function and the heart.

Barry hoped it was true. "Go on."

"When you're with Iris, you're calm, aren't you?" He nodded then he smiled. "When you're not thinking about that, I mean, other times, when you're talking, being yourself, laughing and having fun, it's controlled by emotions. Making love is also controlled by those same emotions, Barry, and your body will react the same way. You shouldn't let this bother you." He paused and watched him carefully. "You're both miserable and it's just going to get worse, not better. So, I know you can do this. You've learned a lot this past year, haven't you?"

"Yes, I have," he replied firm in his response.

"The day you saved us all, I can't tell you how proud I was of you. When I think of that young man on the train hoping for that first date with that special lady friend; that was Iris wasn't it?"

His vision blurred. "Yes, it was."

He touched his shoulder. "I know what you're feeling Barry, not to be able to be with the one you love. I know it hurts, but when you get a chance like this, you can't throw it away." He paused again. "You do love her don't you?"

There was a pause. "Yes, I do, with all my heart," he managed to reply.

"Then, give it a shot. I have faith in you, Barry. You can do this."

"Thank you, Martin."

"Ok, let's go get that coffee."

"I'll be down in a minute. I have to change."

"Sure, I'll see you downstairs."

Barry watched him leave then the leaned against the ledge and thought of Iris.

We can do this; I know we can.

~o~o~

_The West House, later that same day:_

Barry followed Iris inside. Joe was working late. After Barry had spoken to Dr. Stein, they didn't really have the chance to go over any specifics about how they would make love, just that Barry was willing to do it. Now, she was worried and nervous about it.

He sensed this and decided they should talk about it in private. Now, he was having second thoughts. Maybe she wasn't ready, but from what she told him, that they were meant to be, he couldn't help but get his hopes up.

Once inside, Iris walked into the kitchen. "Can you stay for a little while?" He was silent. "Barry, we need to talk about, you know, the problem."

He chuckled. "You can say make love or having sex Iris. It's not anything to be ashamed about."

"I know that; it's just, it's kind of weird talking about sex with you."

He came closer and took her hand. "Making love, yes, it is a big step and we need to be sure it's what we both want," he said and wondered if she were ready. He definitely was.

She watched him carefully. "You're convinced that we can do this?"

"Yes, I am." He touched her cheek. "We'll take our time, well, I will, and we should be Ok."

"I want this to work, Barry. I want us to work. I know I've been reluctant to talk about my feelings, but I'm ready now."

He smiled. "Me too."

"Great, well, I should… Ummm…"

He chuckled. "Iris, why don't we just take a few days and hopefully, no emergencies will come up, and we can … do it."

Now she chuckled. She put her arms around his shoulders. "We are something, aren't we? You and I are going to make love, have sex, kiss, and kiss again." And with those words, she kissed him.

He kissed her back so ready to make her his for now and until forever. After a minute, she pulled away.

"I'll make plans and we'll … do it." She smiled at his look.

"Call me tomorrow?" He asked.

She walked him to the door. "I will; good night, Barry."

"Good night, Iris." They kissed good night, but then she had to force him to leave.

_~o~o~_

_Several days later, Central City Hotel:_

Iris rented a hotel suite for a long weekend. It was the middle of winter and crimes were down since the holidays. It was a perfect time for them to get away from it all.

After checking in, she could see how nervous he was. She was worried as well if she were completely honest with herself. They headed to their room. He brought his costume just in case.

Iris was at the hotel door, and Barry was behind her. Heart pounding, she fumbled with the key. "I can never figure out these things."

"Here let me," he whispered. She handed him the key, and they went inside. It was a lovely room with a king size bed; side chairs; table and chairs; and a flat screen.

Heart still pounding, she put some distance between them. After placing her purse on the side table near the window, she took a deep breath and looked out the window.

Barry watched her for a minute. She was nervous which he thought was kind of sweet, but then this was their first time. Taking a deep breath, he placed their luggage in the corner by the closet. He then spotted the CD player, exactly what he needed. He pulled out a very special CD and put it inside. He couldn't wait for her to hear it; he knew she would love it. He then walked over to her, helped her remove her coat and hung it up in the closet.

He was directly behind her. Her heart was pounding so hard. But then she felt his warm breath on the side of her neck, and it was exciting and exhilarating as his lips brushed her cheek, her ear then back to her throat. She closed her eyes and relaxed against him.

"You're nervous, aren't you." It was a statement.

"A little," she managed to reply. "Aren't you?"

It was hard to speak. "A little," he replied. He felt her smile even from this angle. He pulled her tighter against him as his lips once again sought the sensitive skin on the side of her neck. A few moments later, the warmth was gone.

"Barry, what?" She turned when she heard a swishing sound.

There, he stood before her in his costume. Grinning at her, he whispered, "You miss him don't you?"

She did love seeing him in the suit. "It's not him so much, but you. I miss Barry."

"I know you do." He came closer, removed the hood, took her hand and squeezed it. "I've been a fool, and I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"I understand and yes, I was hurt because I felt as if you didn't want me," she said it again.

He shook his head at her, reached up and smoothed her hair behind her ear. "You know that's not true. It's just, being with you like this, I'm still nervous about you know, doing it."

"I know you are, and I am too. But we've talked about this. There's no need to be nervous, not anymore. I'm ready, Barry." Before he could speak again, she leaned up and kissed him.

He returned her kisses. He loved kissing her. He reached up and placed his hand on the back of her neck and then they were kissing desperately. His tongue met hers, and they were both excited. Her hands roamed over his shoulders and in his hair pulling him closer. Barry stopped and rested his forehead against hers. "I've wanted to do that again for so long," he said, thinking of New Year's Eve.

She needed to know. "Barry, you've never?" She hesitated.

He stroked her shoulder, not looking at her. "No, Iris, never." She took his hand and led him over to the bed.

She wasn't surprised then she shushed him. "Don't speak, just feel Ok? Everything will work out. You'll see."

She was amazing. "I can't tell you how much it pleased me that you took the initiative and contacted Martin. I'm sorry for breaking up with you. I didn't know what to do but hurting you in that way wasn't an option. I was so afraid we would never have this."

Smiling, she reached up to pull him closer. "Oh, Bear, for so long, you wouldn't give up on us, and now it was my turn to convince you that we're worth fighting for." She whispered and kissed his ear, her tongue swirling in and out. "Do you like this?" Her lips moved lower to kiss his throat. "So warm."

Instead of answering her, he closed his eyes, pulled her up and kissed her deeply. Iris was in heaven. Her mind flashed back to their kisses on New Year's Eve.

"Oh Barry," she managed to say between kisses.

He smiled. "How about this?" Barry closed his eyes and smiled against her throat and immediately began thanking her for believing in him and trusting him. Then they slowly undressed, and soon they were naked under the covers touching hip to thigh, the feeling indescribable. The room was so still that the only sound was their ragged breathing. He pulled away, but only for a moment. He then picked up the CD remote control and pressed play.

Iris smiled. "My favorite; talk about wanting to set the mood," she whispered, enjoying the music.

"Yeah, I thought so too," he whispered then he kissed her deeply over and over again. Iris moaned as he kissed his way down her throat to her breasts applying his tongue to her aching nipples. She moaned again, louder this time arching her back, stroking his hair, loving his mouth and hands on her breasts.

He was a man on a mission; he was still in control at this point. If they took their time loving each other in this way, he felt he could control it. He kissed her long shapely legs and smooth thighs. He stroked her between her legs, where she was ready for him.

"Oh, Barry, please," she purred begging for it. Iris opened her legs wider for him to pleasure her and he did. His fingers stroked her inner walls and pushed her toward that goal, but he wanted so much more.

"I want to feel you come around me." Still in control, he smiled then he rubbed the head of his erection against her swollen lips exciting them both. He closed his eyes as he felt her tight sheath close around him.

At this point, his control was his and his alone. He felt as if they could do anything, and they would be alright. He then took her mouth in a hot wet kiss, as he gathered her tightly against his chest. He began that ancient rhythm and Iris matched that beat stroke for stroke.

Iris was panting and moaning and then she cried out wrapping her arms and legs around him, pulled his head down and kissed him long and hard as he drove into her again and again. Suddenly, the vibrating began but he was amazed that he was still in control.

Iris was shaking and moaning having never felt anything so wonderful. Then her stunning climax caused him to come as mind-numbing pleasure shot through to his soul moments later.

He slowly pulled out of her warm body, kissed her temple and stroked her hair, then pulled her close to his chest sighing into her hair. Iris was beyond thought.

"Wow!" Iris was in shock. She truly hit the jackpot with Barry.

Barry chuckled and pulled her closer. His senses were filled with her. To think he had given up on them, but Iris wouldn't let him go. He had to say it or he would burst, but was she ready to hear it?

"Iris, are you awake?"

"Uh huh," she replied quietly, still in a bit of daze.

He was quiet, too quiet. She sensed something then she leaned up on her elbow. "What is it?"

She looked worried. He stroked her hair behind her ear. "I'm happy, Iris," he whispered. He leaned into her and kissed her softly.

"I'm happy too," she whispered back. A little while later, after making love again, they both fell asleep.

~o~o~

_The next morning, still at the hotel:_

Barry was in the shower, trying to bring up enough courage to tell her how much he loved her. After last night, there was nothing standing in their way.

"Hey you!" It was Iris. Naked, she stepped into the shower startling him.

"Iris?" He laughed and pulled her under the spray. She squealed and jumped into him. He caught her quickly and then he kissed her slanting his lips across hers. She felt so good to him. He was immediately in the mood ready for her.

Still kissing her over and over, he pushed her up against the shower wall, her legs instinctively went around his hips, then he touched her and she was ready, and then he was inside her. "You feel so good, Iris, I can't get enough of you and I don't want to."

"Kiss me, just kiss me," she whispered dying for it.

"As you wish," he whispered back and kissed her passionately. She immediately responded to him. Then he began to move, and he didn't have to worry about control, not anymore.

"Oh, Barry, I … I," she started wanting to say it so badly.

He stopped his movements. She whimpered not ready for him to stop. He waited.

She touched his cheek. "I love you, Barry," she finally said it.

Thrilled to hear those words, he whispered back, "I love you too, Iris." Then he kissed her deeply, slanting his lips across hers, his tongue swirling over and over and then he began to move slowly at first exciting them both.

"Oh yes, that's it," Iris whispered between kisses against his throat, kissing him over and over.

Soon though, their feelings rushed to the surface and then it happened. They came at the same time, moaning and shaking for minutes on end.

He slowly pulled out and then they showered and left the bathroom. Drying each other off, they kissed and caressed, not being able to get close enough. Back in bed, they cuddled close, thinking about their future together, well Barry was thinking about it.

"Hungry?" Iris asked knowing his insatiable appetite.

"Hungry for you," he answered and then he kissed her again.

"Ummm, you are insatiable; no question about that."

He pulled away, suddenly serious, "It's just," he couldn't finish.

"You waited a long time for me, didn't you?" It was a statement.

"It was so worth the wait, Iris. You are the only one for me and," he started.

She smiled. "And you're the only one for me too."

"I love you so much," he said becoming emotional.

"Oh, Bear, I love you too, very much." She paused and thought about their past. "I was such a fool."

"No, no, Iris, don't say that. I knew you were happy, and I wanted that for you more than anything else in this world."

She shook her head. "Even if that meant you were miserable." Her eyes watered.

He shrugged but didn't say anything, although she knew him so well.

"Come here." She pulled him close, his head under her chin. She kissed his forehead pulling him closer and stroked his dark head. Then they both sighed both blissfully happy to finally be together, really together.

_TBC!_

~o~o~

Song Inspiration: _I Wish You Knew_ , Mariah Carey; Sexy Song: _The Art of Love_ , Toni Braxton.

A/N: Yes, indeed, no more thinking about hurting her. It wasn't in him to hurt her. So, there you go! I knew he could do it. *lol* I have one more chapter. Come back in a week. Thank you for reading! Reviews/kudos is love guys!

Heads up! If you haven't seen the 'Supergirl' preview trailer, go watch it now. I have a James/Kara one shot (for now) to be posted by the first of July! So stay tuned. :D


	4. To Where You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this update, I added a few more scenes. This will not be the final chapter. In this part, Barry and Iris have a misunderstanding. Iris visits STAR Labs with Barry. And then later, the article is brought up again, but what will it reveal? I sincerely hope you enjoy this chapter. Read on!

_Chapter_ _4: To Where You Are_

 _Several_ _days_ _later_ _,_ _still_ _at_ _the_ _hotel_ :

It was time to check out, but they were not ready to go. They stood at the door luggage packed, but not quite prepared to leave.

"It was wonderful," Iris murmured holding him close.

"Yeah, it was," Barry agreed.

"Can we come back soon, I mean, real soon?"

He chuckled. "Your wish is my command."

She pulled away. "You did not just say that."

"I meant every word. Anything you want, within reason, you can have it."

She chuckled. "Ummm, well, I'll have to think about that."

He pulled her close again. "I love you, Iris, don't ever forget."

"I love you too, and I won't forget, I promise."

He took a deep breath still a little unsure about this. "Before we go, I have something for you."

She pulled away, extremely excited, she asked, "Oh, you brought me a present?"

"Well, sort of, Ummm," he hesitated then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a key.

"What's this?" Oh no, she thought.

"It's a key … to my place," he said and held it out to her.

She pulled away. "Barry, I … we … we haven't talked about moving in together."

"I know, but this weekend was fantastic, and I thought maybe, it was time."

"Barry, no; I mean, we need to talk about this. But we should go, it's late," she rambled unable to think clearly. She turned, grabbed her bag and opened the door.

"Iris, wait, I'll get that for you," he said and reached for her luggage; she gave it to him. Barry felt horrible. Now, he went and ruined their weekend.

They checked out of the hotel, found her car and headed out. No one said a word during the entire ride to the house. Once there, before she could get out, he took her hand.

"Iris, wait, please you shouldn't feel as if I'm rushing into this. I've thought about it for months, even before, you know."

She took a deep breath then turned to him. "Barry, it's different for me. Yes, it was a beautiful weekend, but I just need more time. Can you give me that?"

He didn't hesitate. "Of course, I can." He paused. "I love you, Iris. That will never change."

"I know you do." They both leaned in and kissed for a minute. He caressed her face softly. He deepened the kiss. Iris touched his hand on her cheek then pulled away. "Call me later?"

"Of course, I will." They both tried to smile.

He helped her with her bag, kissed her at the door and then he was gone.

~o~o~

"Dad, I'm home!" Iris called up the stairs.

Joe came downstairs and watched for a moment. "Hi, honey; well, I see you're back and I must say you look fantastic."

Iris shook her head at her Father. "Go ahead and ask me."

"So how was it?"

"It was fine. We had a great time, but," she hesitated.

"Oh, no, what happened?" Joe asked, extremely concerned about them.

She sighed, set her bag aside and sat down on the sofa. "Barry asked me to move in with him."

"Oh, I see, and what did you say?" Joe asked. He sat down beside her.

Her vision blurred, thinking about their wonderful weekend. "I love him, Dad, I always have, but."

"I know it's a difficult decision, but if you're not ready; you're not ready."

She shook her head at him. "I thought you would say something else," she stated a bit surprised he would say that.

"You come first with me; you always have. I may not have shown it, but I love you sweetie and only want the best for you and what makes you happy, makes me happy."

"Thanks, Dad, and to answer your question; No, I'm not ready."

"He'll understand; I'm sure he will."

"I hope so because I can't be without him." She paused for a moment, thinking about him. "I suppose, on one hand, you want what's best for me. But you and Barry have this idea that I can't be on my own, that I need you both to protect me, but I'm stronger than that."

"I know that sweetie, but." She interrupted him.

"Dad, I need a place of my own," she told him bluntly. He appeared to be shocked. "I've made up my mind."

Joe understood; he didn't like it, but he understood. "If that's what you want. It's just; I just got you back and … I'll miss you."

She went into his arms. "I won't be far away, only a few blocks."

He pulled away. "Have you found a place to stay?"

"Yes, I have; it's not far, only a few miles. It's one bedroom, with a view of the park and it's not far from CCPN."

"It sounds perfect for you." He kept his composure although he was crying inside. "When are you moving?"

"The first of the month; will you help me?"

"Of course, I will."

"Thanks, Dad."

~o~o~

 _STAR_ _Labs, a_ _few_ _days_ _later_ _:_  
  
Hand in hand, Iris and Barry entered STAR Labs, much to the dismay of Caitlin and Cisco. Then they glanced at each with knowing grins.

Iris and Barry suspected they knew the truth, but didn't call them on it. They definitely did not want to talk about their personal and private concerns.

"Good morning," Barry said.

"Hello, it's good to see you both," Iris said and headed to a chair normally reserved to Eobard.

"Well, I gather that you two have worked things out?" Caitlin asked.

"Yes, we have," Barry replied, but didn't elaborate.

Caitlin and Cisco were both extremely relieved.

"Barry, something has come up and you are not going to like it," Caitlin started.

"What is it?" Iris asked, hoping to help in some way. "I'm sorry," she said when everyone glanced her way.

"That's Okay, Iris," Cisco said. "It has been a while since you were here."

"Sorry about that, it's just Barry and me," she hesitated. "I hope this isn't going to cause any problems, me being here."

"No, of course not," Caitlin quickly replied. "Barry, I spoke to Detective West this morning and there's a problem with releasing your Father from prison."

"What is it now? It's been six months since Eobard confessed to killing my Mother," Barry started getting upset.

"We know that Barry, but unfortunately, and you do know this, the accelerator was damaged during the storm and the confession was lost and," she hesitated.

"There must be something else we can do get my Father released," Barry said.

"I may have an answer to that," Iris said.

"What is it?" Barry asked.

"I wanted to tell you this sooner, but other things came up, and," she hesitated knowing what they were both thinking.

"It's alright, you can tell us now," Caitlin said.

She took a deep breath. "Well, now that we know that Mason was killed by Eobard, there's been an investigation into his disappearance. His home was searched, as well as his research, private journals, and his computer at the office," she replied.

"Did they find anything," Barry asked.

"Yes, his journal said that he had a memory stick containing crucial information about Dr. Wells, and his involvement with Simon Stagg's disappearance. It could tie into your Mother's murder, Barry. Believe me, if I had known about the memory stick, I would have told you, then maybe all of this could have prevented." She felt horrible about all of it.

"Iris, none of this was your fault," Cisco said.

"Please don't blame yourself; you didn't know," Caitlin said.

"It's my fault," Barry said and paced the room.

"What do you mean?" Caitlin asked. Barry was silent.

"Barry and my Father knew about Mason, that he was killed but kept it a secret," Iris said staring at Barry, trying not to get upset.

"Why in the world would you do that?" Caitlin asked shocked.

Barry sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "It was all a ruse to hide our suspicions about Dr. Wells, plus to keep Iris in the dark about me being the Flash."

Iris couldn't look at him. Turning on the computer, she pulled up surveillance in the area. "This is fascinating; when did you add these upgrades?"

"A few weeks ago," Cisco replied. "Felicity sent them over." He came over to stand behind her, and then he pointed to an area recently updated with video because of high crimes recently in the area.

"I see," Iris said as Cisco filled her in on the new software.

"Barry, about Mason, you know you could be arrested for doing what you did, as well as Detective West could lose his job as well," Caitlin said refusing to let it drop.

"I know that," he said.

"But you did it anyway. I hope it was worth it," Iris said and tried not to glare at him. She supposed her wounds hadn't healed.

He caught her look. Barry also thought about her pain and it did run dark. They definitely needed some time to come to terms with all the lies he told her to keep her safe.

Awkward silence followed then there was an alert at a bank not too far away. "Got it," Barry said then he was gone.

"I'm sorry, Iris," Cisco said.

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Barry and I have come a long way, but things will get better."

"I hope so," Caitlin said. "You know, what you did for him that night when Gorilla Grodd attacked, I've never seen anything like it. It was extraordinary." She paused as she thought about it. "You two are really something."

Iris didn't know what to say. "I just wanted to help him, but everything worked out. I appreciate the compliment. Thanks, Caitlin."

"I'm only saying this because we didn't know what to do to help him, and if you hadn't been here." She paused for a moment. "I'm just glad you were here and from what I've seen, you two will get past this; I know you will."

"I agree," Cisco said and smiled at her.

"It means a lot that you two have faith in us. I sincerely mean that." Then she thought about it. "I wanted to help Barry in any way that I could, but I don't know what else I can do, and I don't wish to be in the way."

"You're not in the way. We'll think of something; don't worry about it," Cisco said. "And I'm sure Barry wouldn't mind either."

"I hope so." Then Iris had an idea. "I was thinking about my blog, you know the one that I created to help the Flash? What if I added it here? It's a meta-human database, where they've been seen, eyewitness accounts, you know, that sort of thing?"

"Well, yeah, that would help us a lot," Caitlin replied, even though they knew about it, but hadn't seen it since the meta-humans were let go.

"Great, I'll add it now," Iris added it to the new software and Cisco happily helped her and of course she thanked him. While adding it, Girder popped up. Iris frowned. "I wonder what happened to him."

Cisco was silent; Caitlin pretended to be busy.

Iris caught their looks and then put two plus two together. "You know what happened to him; don't you." It was a statement. "Is he dead?"

Caitlin caved. "Yes, he's gone."

"What happened to him?" Iris asked a bit stunned.

Cisco glanced at Caitlin. "It's a long story."

"I see," she said. "You can trust me, Okay? I won't print any of it."

"Well, you were pretty upset about Mason and what happened to him, and," Caitlin started.

"I know that, but as I said, I won't print it, so please tell me."

Cisco sighed and told her the truth and what Eobard did to Girder.

Iris shook her head. "That's horrible. Eobard was such an evil man."

"Yes, he was," Cisco agreed.

Iris thought about him. "Girder found me through my blog, but I guess I was too stubborn to delete it. It was the only way that I could help the Flash and I refused to give it up."

"I think your blog is imperative to what we do here, and besides, everything worked out," Caitlin said.

"Yeah, everything is in the past. I'm just trying to work through a lot of things," she whispered.

"You mean the lies, don't you?" Caitlin asked feeling ashamed of her part in it.

"Yes, all the lies," Iris sadly replied. "But as I said, Barry and I are working on it but it may take a while." She tried to smile. Suddenly sad, she thought about Eddie and the part he played in the secret.

Cisco caught her mood. "What are you thinking?"

"I was just thinking how heroic and brave Eddie was; he saved all of us." She became emotional.

"Are you Ok?" Cisco asked.

"I'm sorry. Sometimes, it hits me when I least expect it," Iris sadly replied.

Barry came back at that moment and heard everything. "I'm back! Anything happening; I haven't heard from you guys?" He was still in his costume.

Iris discreetly wiped at the corner of her eye. "It's pretty quiet, so I think I'll … Ummm … head over to the office for a while, but I'll be back later." Iris stood up to leave.

Barry watched her and she wouldn't look at him. "Iris, wait," he said and took her arm. "I'll be right back," he said to the team and escorted her out.

Once out in the hall, he stopped her. "Iris, please talk to me." She was silent. "I heard what you said about Eddie."

"Barry, I don't know if this is going to work, I mean, me being here with you."

"Iris, I know it will take time, but please don't give up on us." She shook her head as if she didn't think they could make it work. He took her hand.

"Just know that I love you and I always will. And what I did, I don't know if I would do it again, but you're here with me now and that's all I've ever wanted."

She was beginning to believe. "All I've ever wanted too."

He leaned down and kissed her and she kissed him back. After a minute, he pulled away. "Iris?"

"Yes, what is it?"

Instead of answering her, he took her hand and walked further down the hall. They entered an elevator and down another hall.

"Barry, where are we? What is this place?" Iris was confused.

"Since you already seen it, and I hadn't seen it since last year when, you know, everything happened."

She frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"The article," he replied quietly.

"The article, but don't tell me you know how to bring it up?" Iris was stunned.

"Yes, I do."

Iris backed up. "I don't want to see it, Barry. I'm not ready."

"Are you sure, I mean, the future is not set. It may have changed, I mean, what Eddie did, I don't know." Barry was rambling, unsure if he should do this or not.

"Do you think it changed?" Her eyes watered. "But we love each other; don't we?"

He touched her cheek. "Yes, we do." He paused. "Don't be afraid. The future can change all the time. What we see here won't change what we feel. Okay?" He didn't want to tell her that he was afraid too.

Taking a deep breath, she said, "Alright, but just this once. I don't want to see it again, not ever."

"Agreed," he whispered; he didn't want to see it again either. Actually, in the past few months, he'd thought of destroying it, but he couldn't do it. It was his link to his future-self. He was curious about the future not only about Iris and their marriage, but his ability to even create Gideon.

He removed his glove and glided his hand to the entrance. It opened. They slowly stepped inside.

Iris was amazed at what she could see. "How long has this been here?"

"I'm not sure. Eobard constructed it, but this AI was created by me sometime in the future," he thoughtfully replied still stunned by all of it.

"You created this and Eobard stole it from you. Is that what you're saying?" Iris couldn't believe it.

"Yes, it's true." He paused. "Are you ready?"

She stiffened her back. "Go ahead."

Holding tightly to her hand, he said, "Gideon, show me the future."

Seconds later, the article appeared.

Barry was relieved; Iris was stunned unable to speak.

_TBC!_

~o~o~

Song Inspiration: _Whatever It Takes_ , Leona Lewis.

A/N: Being a steadfast shipper, you know my take on things. But after hearing about the casting news for S2, I decided to add the STAR Labs scenes, and also to show how I feel about that ... **Westallen is endgame**. Also that Iris will not be sidelined. She will have her own story away from Barry and from what I've heard, that story will be awesome. I'm looking forward to seeing it. The rest, I'm not so sure. The writers handled the triangle poorly last year IMO. I just hope it ends before it even begins. We can only hope. Stay tuned for the last chapter. Come back in a week! Thanks for reading, everyone!


	5. A Part of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm putting this up early because I will be out of town for an extended time starting early tomorrow. I will be online, if you want to chat. In this last chapter, Iris and Barry hope to move past all the pain of the past, but it will not be easy. Once they realized this, they decide to trust in their love and their future. Then later, Barry tries to explain the speed force and what it means to both of them. I hope you enjoy this final chapter. Read on!

  
[ ](http://s190.photobucket.com/user/babettew54/media/7c390686-5825-43fb-85b1-8050d23ca29b_zpswmxsmfcf.jpg.html)   


_Chapter 5: A Part of Me_

_The Gideon chamber, moments later_ :

Iris found her voice then read the byline out loud: " _Iris West-Allen, Thursday, April 25, 2024_."

Barry released a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "It's true; it's really true."

Iris shook her head. "I don't know what to say." She moved closer trying to read it. " _After an extreme street battle with the Reverse-Flash, our own Scarlet Speedster disappeared in an explosion of light. The cause of the fight is currently unknown_." Still unbelieving, and with so many questions, she turns to him. "But how can that be? I thought he was gone. What does it mean?"

"I truly have no idea. It seems as though Eobard and I are mortal enemies. We fight each other through timelines, the future, the past and who knows where else." He thought about it. "He said that he and I," he hesitated.

"What, what did he say?" Then she stopped him. "No, don't answer that; don't say another word. We should leave." She suddenly felt trapped, the same as when Eddie told her about the article, maybe even more so. The future was still the same. They were destined to marry. But something else about the article terrified her. He disappeared but where did he go?

Barry was thinking that he shouldn't have done this; just another stupid mistake when he came to her. He hated himself.

They exited the chamber, each unsure what to say. Once out in the hall, Iris felt horrible. Barry apparently still believed all of it, and a part of her did too, but it just seemed so inevitable, as if she didn't have a choice. Then she glanced at him; he looked genuinely upset.

"Barry, I'm sorry; I guess I'm just not ready to accept it; not really."

"It's alright," he said hung his head.

Iris felt awful. "I do love you, Barry." Her eyes watered.

He tried to smile. "I love you too." He watched her face then he touched her cheek.

"But is it enough, our love, is it enough?" She had to know.

"It is enough; I believe it; don't you?" He had to know.

"You and I have survived so many things." She touched his hand on her cheek. "I do believe we will get there, but it will take time."

"Time," he murmured. He needed reassurance and so did she. He pulled her close in his arms.

She relaxed against him, feeling safe and secure but was it actually enough?

~o~o~

 _A week later, March 1st, 2016_ :

Moving day for Iris had finally arrived. Joe and Barry were there helping her. The building was quite old. But it was nicely renovated: with neutral colors on the walls; open concept; granite in the kitchen; stainless steel appliances; with wood floors; and a balcony off the living room.

Iris didn't have any furniture yet, just a bedroom set. The rest would come later. Barry said he would help her find some older pieces; he knew her tastes ran in a different era; he knew just the place. She was very grateful for his help.

Barry took her news about the move fairly well in fact he seemed excited she was moving into her own place. He was proud of her and couldn't wait to spend time with her alone.

Iris watched him carry boxes into the apartment. Grinning at him, she knew the reason he was excited, and she had to admit that she wanted to be alone with him too. They did need to talk about a lot of things.

Joe wasn't blind. Soon they were almost done. She ordered pizza for them, and they ate it in relative silence. Then Joe decided it was time to go.

"Come here honey," Joe said and gave her a hug. "I'm very proud of you, and I love you very much."

"I love you too, Dad." She kissed his cheek and sent him on his way. "I'll call you later."

"Bye, Barry."

"Bye, Dad!" They both smiled. He felt very blessed to have both of them in his life.

Iris shut the door and leaned against it. She watched him for a minute. He was staring at her and it didn't take a genius to know what he was thinking. He grinned and slowly walked over to her.

She felt rooted to the spot, unable to move, to breathe or to even think. "I need to … unpack."

"Later, much later," he whispered, and then he pulled her to him and kissed her passionately.

"I can't believe this is happening," she whispered between kisses. She was thrilled and excited that he still wanted her after everything they'd been through.

His kisses rained down her throat. The idea of them together like this still made her pause and think about what had come before. Barry pulled away and he read her like a book. He understood so he slowed down just a little so she could think. He was always ready, but this was all so new to her, being together like this. He, of course, had a different mindset. In his mind, they were always meant to be. He took her hand and walked over to the balcony and opened the door.

"If you want, we can talk for a while?" Barry suggested hoping to cool off a little.

"Sure, we can talk," she replied and followed him outside. He was right beside her. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "Barry?"

He turned to her. "Yeah, what is it?"

"You're an amazing man; you do know that, don't you?"

He shrugged, and turned back to the view.

"I know you want me; I want you too, but our relationship is new and," she started.

"Iris, I understand completely." But he couldn't resist coming closer. "We don't have to make love; it doesn't define our relationship, but it's important that we share our feelings and making love is as natural as breathing." He pulled her to him. "And loving you the way that I do, it just feels right."

"It does, doesn't it." She couldn't deny it. She stroked his shoulder then down his arms. "So warm," she whispered touching him. "Were you always this warm?"

"No, my body does tend to be a few degrees above normal, especially after a run."

"That's fascinating, and the other night at the hotel when you vibrated during sex; was that normal, or did you plan it?"

He chuckled. "Let's go inside and I'll explain a few things."

In the bedroom with boxes all around them, he sat down beside her. He then told her about his body, how it works when he runs, the vibrating, the speed, and finally, that she was connected to the speed force. Then he reminded her about the sparks during his coma and when she found out the truth about him.

"But how can all of this be?" Iris was stunned by all of this, especially about her connection to the speed force.

He tried to explain, but she didn't get it. "Iris when I run really fast, especially when I'm saving you, my speed increases to the point that I can change the time continuum, and that's when the timeline changed that first time. I wasn't expecting it; it just happened."

"I see, so when you were saving me, my Dad and everyone else in Central City, you broke the time continuum, and after that, things were entirely different between us?" Just the idea of it made her sad, a little angry and very, very worried about their future; just more to think about.

"Yes, that's when it happened." She looked upset. "And it could happen again," he sadly stated. Now they were both upset.

"Oh, no; then we could … lose each other again?" Iris was terrified of that happening. She couldn't think it. They'd come so far.

He was worried too, so he pulled her close in his arms. "Don't worry about it."

She pulled away. "But you're not sure, and if it happens and you have no control over it," she couldn't finish.

"Iris, one thing I know about the speed force. No matter where I am, inside or not, you are always with me. I won't lose my way as long as you are there waiting for me."

Her eyes lit up. "I can see it in your eyes. You believe it; don't you?"

"Yes, I do," he replied firmly. He stroked her cheek softly. "You're a part of me Iris; I can't explain it, but I know it's true."

Iris shook her head trying to adjust to what he told her. "A part of you," she whispered, believing it to be true. Then she raised her tear-filled eyes to his face. "I love you, Barry, don't ever forget it," she whispered softly.

"I love you too, Iris," he whispered back and then he was kissing her sweetly. After a few minutes, he pulled away then he had a question for her. "Iris, I was wondering."

"What were you wondering?"

"I know you have your doubts about the article and I don't blame you. I'm not really sure why Eobard told Eddie about it. I guess he wanted to hurt us in some way," Barry thoughtfully said.

"I think you're right. I was deeply hurt and I know now that you were too. He didn't care about Eddie at all. It was us he wanted to hurt." She watched him and she had a feeling. "When you first saw it, you were worried, weren't you?"

"You read my mind. At first, I was stunned and because you were still with Eddie, and I found out that he proposed, I was doubtful," he sadly confessed.

"And when we saw it again, what did you think?" She asked.

"I was relieved because I still had hope for us; do you?" Hope and love shined through in his eyes.

"Yeah, I do," she whispered, meaning it, then giggled after realizing what she said.

He smiled as well, so relieved to hear it. "I do too. Come here." Then he pulled her close in his arms. He leaned down and they kissed unable to get close enough.

All too soon, they were clutching each other close. Clothes were removed quickly and then they were back in each other's arms, speaking love words of devotion and no matter if they were parted, they would find their way back to each other.

"Barry, I need you," she whispered, pulling him closer. Still terribly worried about them and their future, she clutched him to her tightly.

"Iris, it will be alright," Barry murmured hoping to reassure her.

"I'm so afraid for both of us," she whispered about to cry. She did have faith in their love and they would work it out in time. All they needed was time.

Iris couldn't think of anything else because he covered her mouth with his own, kissing her deeply. She returned his kisses with a terrible need to know he was there beside her, and not somewhere far away or if they would even know each other at all. While his lips continued to kiss her, he pulled her tight against him hoping to reassure her in this one way.

Moments later, her breathing was short and labored when he left her lips and traveled down her body. She was willing and waiting, wanting to cherish each and every moment with him. His lips found what he sought. Her nipples were tight and firm and he tasted them first one and then the other.

Iris couldn't remain still for too long, and then her hands were in his hair stroking him, down his shoulders and arms. Her body lifted wanting him desperately to finish it so that they could reach that goal only they could share.

"Barry, please," she choked out begging for it. "Come here," she murmured and pulled him close to kiss him like she was starving for him, which was definitely true. She returned his lovemaking just as eagerly as he did. Her hands roamed over the hard muscles of his arms and down his belly to touch that part of him that was ready for her.

He stroked her soft belly and then he kissed her thrusting his tongue inside her mouth and she moaned needing to feel him inside her so desperately. His long legs moved between hers and then he was inside her and then they stopped for a moment, enjoying their closeness. She opened her eyes and met his and then she arched upward to meet his movements and then it began.

He took his time loving her going deeper and deeper and Iris could feel herself coming. "Oh yes," she cried out. He leaned down and kissed her, his tongue swirling in rhythm with his hips.

"You feel so good," Barry managed to say. Long minutes later, he cried out as she climaxed strongly and he followed her to the highest peak and over. He collapsed on top of her breathing in short gasps. Moments later, he was kissing her throat, her ear, her cheek, and then her mouth.

She kissed him back loving him so very much it felt like pain sometimes. Once she could breathe again, she whispered, "You're mine, Barry Allen, forever and ever."

He smiled and pulled away. Pushing her hair away from her face, he said, "And you're mine too."

He lay back against the pillow, pulling her with him. They lay together with their legs entwined, each thinking that they would always remember this moment … forever.

~o~o~

Morning came; the sun was up and Barry was still there which pleased her immensely. Sighing, she pulled him closer. She actually needed him in her life and couldn't imagine him gone or somewhere he couldn't return to her. The idea terrified her; then she thought about the article. Where did he go; how did he disappear? She shook her head dislodging those disturbing thoughts.

Barry slowly awakened and realized Iris was awake. "What time is it?"

"A little after six," she replied. "I have to get ready for work in a little while."

"Me too," he whispered, but instead of getting up, he pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "This is nice."

She smiled against his chest. "Yes, it is."

"Iris?" He had to know.

"What is it?"

"I know you need to have your own space and I support you 100%, but," he hesitated.

"You want us to live together," she finished for him, and it wasn't a question.

"Would it be so bad?" He asked whining just a little.

She shook her head. "Barry, we can enjoy each other's company and still have our independence. There's nothing wrong with that." He was silent. "Look, having a place of my own, you can understand, can't you? I mean, you moved out so why can't I have this time to myself? You know, I just need to think things through and clear my head. You understand, don't you?" He seemed to stiffen. "I love you, you know, and that won't ever change." She stroked his chest.

He closed his eyes and stroked her hair. "I know you do and, it's just, I miss you when I'm not with you."

"I feel the same way. But we'll see each other at STAR Labs; at the precinct; at CCPN; at the house; on the rooftop at Jitters, hopefully, and," she rambled but then he stopped her with a kiss. She kissed him back, and then he moved on top of her. He was ready for her; she could feel it.

His kisses moved down her throat. "Barry, we have to get ready to go," she whispered, but she didn't sound like she meant it.

"In a minute," he murmured as his kisses continued down her body.

"In a minute," she whispered on a sigh and then her back arched ready and willing.

 _The end!_  
  
~o~o~

Song Inspiration: _Always_ , Toni Braxton.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this last chapter. Having them enter the chamber together felt right so there it is. But with hints from the producers of alternate universes and a possible different Earth, well it found its way into this story. I guess I'll always worry about them. Once they're married with children, then all of us can relax! *We can only hope* Thank you for reading! Reviews/kudos is love guys!

On another note: Stay tuned for the ' _Westallen Smut Week_ ' which starts this Monday. Each day for seven straight days will have a different prompt. Unfortunately, I won't be posting this story to FFN, far too explicit. But I will post it here and at my Livejournal community. Each part will run about 1,000-1,500 words. Check out my profile for more details. Thanks again and keep reading! Bye for now! :D


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